As Expected, Hikigaya Hachiman & Isshiki Iroha's RomCom is Wrong
by Licoco
Summary: Spring comes, and the ice melts, both outside the familiar clubroom window and in Hikigaya Hachiman's heart. Will the presence of a certain underclassman steer Hachiman down an unexpected road? Only time will tell. An 8man x Iroha fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Even **Hikigaya Hachiman** can be Blackmailed

Ahh, so warm. That was the only thought in my head as I sipped the usual steeped tea. The difference today was the warm flow of air that I could feel coming from the small heater placed in the centre of the open but not barren clubroom.

"It's so warm today!" Yuigahama cheerfully cried out. "We finally got that heater fixed."

"So it seems." Yukinoshita gave a nonchalant response, and nodded towards Yuigahama beside her. For some reason, the two were still sharing the same blanket, even though there was now absolutely no need to. In fact, aren't you hot in there? I'm starting to feel unexpectedly hot just looking at you two. Too warm, too warm!

"Well yeah, that irresponsible teacher finally got around to doing what she should've done."

"Look who's talking. Hikigaya kun, I don't think you have any ground to criticize Hiratsuka sensei."

*tap tap*

Yukinoshita's cold retort was cut off by a familiar knocking at the door.

"Well, it is about that time isn't it?" Yukinoshita noted and turned towards the doorway. "Come in, Isshiki san."

"Hello hello!" The flaxen haired girl entered the clubroom in her fashion. The sleeves of her oversized cardigan moved with the waving of her hand, and on her face was her trademark impish grin.

"Iroha chan, Yahallo!"

"Hello, Isshiki san."

"Um…hello."

We threw out our usual greetings, but this time, instead of going to join Yuigahama and Yukinoshita to form their human peas in a pod, Isshiki Iroha stood where she was at the door.

"Come, Iroha chan, sit down!" As if to emphasize her words, Yuigahama slided in her seat slightly towards Yukinoshita, making room for another beside her.

"Well, actually this time I have something to ask senpai. Can I borrow him for a while?" While speaking, Isshiki swiftly moved to my side, pulling on my right arm.

"Huh? Ah, wait!" I spit out a swift response before being pulled to my feet. The two girls at the opposite end of the table also tense up, and both quickly get to their feet.

"W…wait a moment, Isshiki san."

"H…hikki!"

"I'll just be a moment, I'll give him back right away." I sneak a look past my shoulder as I'm forcefully pulled out to the hallway. Two pairs of intense eyes stare back at me. "I won't even scratch him, guaranteed!" Just what am I to this girl, just a toy to be borrowed?

* * *

"So, what's this about?" I face Isshiki out in the chilly hallway. Just please let me get this over with so I can return to my warm clubroom, please…

"Actually, senpai. I have another request for you." Isshiki leaned forward and looked up at me. Her straight and smooth hair flicker momentarily in front of her eyes, which sparkle slightly as they look up at me.

"Another one?" Oy, wasn't this girl giving us too many requests? I mean, the service club does advertise solving any request, but wasn't this overdoing it? It was like a fancy restaurant placing a bowl of mints at the exit. They'll say take as many as you need, but usually you would just take one or two out of consideration for other people and the restaurant. In that sense, Isshiki Iroha was like the greedy kid who insisted on grabbing a handful, or even the entire bowl, no matter what her parents said. This girl is way too childish…

"I know we're supposed to help with any request, but the service club isn't an all you can eat buffet, you know? It'll be good for you to solve some problems on your own." I looked down at Isshiki and made sure to lecture her properly. Crap, my oniichan instinct is slipping out again.

"No, not like that, senpai!" Isshiki made a frown with her small and delicate lips. "This isn't a request for the club, it's for you. Why did you think I dragged you out here alone?"

"For me?"

"Yeah. Senpai, can we go together to that new waterpark this Saturday? I really need to get rid of these tickets." Isshiki beamed up with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Ha?" What the heck, I was planning on having a nice relaxing weekend of gluttony and sloth. What will my potato chips and Sekina Aoi light novels do without me? "Are you sure you don't want to go with Hayama instead? And, why do you have to go in the first place?"

"Eh, that'd be too embarrassing. Besides, Hayama senpai's busy."

"Then go with someone else. Or go by yourself, for all I care."

"That's impossible, senpai. These tickets were a gift from the vice president and secretary, and they expire the day after that. Besides, these are couple tickets, they were doing a special promotion and it ended up being cheaper than a single ticket. They won't even let me in alone. It'll be a shame to let them go to waste." Isshiki puffed up her cheeks and pushed her arms out to her side, trying to do her best impression of a cute pouting underclassman.

"I refuse." I won't fall for your tricks again. Being led around all day and toyed with on the whims of Isshiki Iroha last time was enough for a lifetime. It definitely wasn't fun, you hear?

"I still have those photos of us together from last time, senpai." Whoa, scary! That's a scary tone, Irohasu! That's definitely a threat, isn't it? Her voice was nowhere near her usual cutesy one. A chill went down my spine just now.

"Guh…"

"I wonder what your middle school classmates will think of those photos?" Isshiki raised a finger and put it next to her cheek, deep in thought and with a malicious glint in her eyes. "Maybe that girl Orimoto will spread it among all your old classmates, wouldn't that be fun?"

"The station at 9 then?"

"See you at 9."

* * *

Tick, tick, tick. The hands on the clock displayed prominently outside Chiba station continue in their unending monotony with far too much presence. Though I cannot physically hear the movement of the mechanical timekeeper, my consciousness ticks along involuntarily, filling my head with the all too predictable rhythm. Time sure passes slower when you're aware of it… the clock displayed only 8:50. In truth, I had been in this inexplicable jittery mood for some time. Feeling a sense of unrest at home from Kamakura's glaring eyes, I headed out unusually early, arriving at the station a full half hour early. I'm in the process of once again agonizing over how much more I'm going to be made to stand in front of the station when I'm suddenly attacked from behind.

"Guess who, senpai?" Wait, where did my sense of vision go? I couldn't have suddenly lost both of my eyeballs, could I? After spending an excessive amount of time eliminating arbitrarily silly possibilities, I replied to the person behind me who was now covering my eyes with her slim, long fingers.

"Cut that out, Isshiki. Your tricks don't work on me."

"Huh? Senpai, that's so lame." Isshiki responded as she lifted her hands from my face, and continued speaking after waiting for me to turn to face her. "Did you actually think I was expecting that kind of childish prank to fool or something? Aren't you confusing me with someone else you know?"

"No, that's not what I meant. Weren't you trying to do your cute act just then?"

"Huh?" Isshiki let out a surprised gasp, then turned her face sideways while keeping her eye on me. She skilfully formed another trademark expression, the Isshiki Iroha pouting face, guaranteed to make any upperclassman feel guilty. "Yeah, I guess I was. Got a problem with that?"

"Why are you mad?..."

"No reason!" Isshiki quickly jerked her arm towards my side to grab my hand, and I was once again pulled by the arm on route to another eventful day with this unreasonable girl. "Let's go, senpai!"

"Um…sorry, was I wrong?" I called out to the back of Isshiki's beige cardigan. "Were you perhaps…actually just being yourself?"

"What, so you aren't stupid." Isshiki's head turned around with a twirl, her hair following with a slight delay. "I'm going to all this trouble to stop doing my cutesy act and you immediately accuse of still doing it!"

"Well, that was pretty cutesy though…" Seriously, Irohasu, isn't covering someone's eyes from behind a little too frivolous for your calculating, manipulative personality?

"I…I just felt like it!" For some reason, Isshiki became defensive. "That wasn't planned, so it's not part of my act."

"Is that so…?"

"Senpai, just remember from now on, I won't be showing you anything fake again. I'm being myself around senpai only, understand? I want our relationship to be _genuine_." As she spoke, Isshiki's serious face slowly melted into a gentle, warm visage. Her eyes softened as they looked straight at my own, and the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly, not quite enough to qualify as the usual sinister smirk, but just the right amount of a sincere, radiant smile. "Ok, senpai?"

"…Yeah. Please." For a moment, Isshiki's smile spread to me as well. I'm lost for words, and only manage to spit out a brief response under the influence of my beating heart. As I'm led off towards our destination again, my thought drifts once again to that phrase that I myself once cried. _Genuine, huh? Maybe I'm getting closer to what I'm looking for…_

"Oh, but I won't stop teasing you and tricking you, you know?" Isshiki called out behind her. "That's what my personality is actually like, after all."

This girl…give me back my beating heart! I want a refund!

"What a bothersome woman…"

* * *

In any case, we eventually arrive at our destination with Isshiki leading the way.

"Super Waterpark XL." Is there supposed to be a smaller sized waterpark somewhere? What is this, an ill conceived handheld console?

"Senpai, let's go!" Isshiki excitedly ran ahead waving the tickets around. She sure is excited…weren't we supposed to just be getting rid of excess tickets…?

After getting our tickets checked and heading for the entrance, I'm forced to face one very alarming fact. I'm baffled at how I could overlook this simple truth, or perhaps I actually did remember, but was subconsciously trying not to think about it. Whatever the case, I was now about to see Isshiki Iroha in her swimming suit.

"Ok, I'll wait for you inside, ok, senpai?" Isshiki turned to leave with a twirl. Surprised, I reach out for her with my hand, and missing, just leave it hanging there like a dead branch. Isshiki is already gone by the time I return to my senses.

Hmm, what's this now? I'm about to see my cute kouhai in a swimsuit? Is that ok? Maybe I should just turn around and go home now. Yeah, that sounds about right. I'll just hop on the next train home and go read my books peacefully with Kamakura's company. But then again, how many times would Isshiki kill me next week, I wonder? Better to be prudent and value your life, Hachiman. I mean if this was Totsuka like that time at the summer camp, then I'd be excited. This, however, doesn't faze me at all. My heart is like a mighty oak that can stand firm in any storm. Yep, I'm not excited at all. In that case, since I really don't care about seeing my cute kouhai in a swimsuit, I should just stay after all. After several moments of mental anguish, I drag myself into the changing room. But I wonder, just when in the world did I start thinking of Isshiki Iroha as "cute"?

* * *

"Senpai~" Isshiki's voice catches my ear as I stand near the entrance, waiting absentmindedly in my swimwear. "Sorry to keep you waiting, senpai."

"No, it's no big deal…" Whoa, what's this, Isshiki san! The moment I turn around, Isshiki's dark blue swimsuit immediately draws my attention. Even though I thought I was mentally prepared, my eyes still found themselves being dragged towards the white skirt wrapped around Isshiki's legs. Scanning left to right, the frilled edge of the skirt gradually crept upwards, exposing Isshiki's bare thigh and just a peek of the blue bikini underneath.

"Well?" Isshiki let out a giggle to accompany her smile as she eyed me with her head slightly turned. The way she was leaning forward also exposed the faint outline of her small but most definitely present cleavage. Hey, I only saw that because it was in my field of vision while looking at your face, ok? I can't be held responsible for this. You should really stop doing things like that, Isshiki.

"What…?"

"Senpai, you're supposed to say I look good in a situation like this, you know?" Isshiki put on a pouting face, and jerked her head away, pretending to ignore me.

"Sorry, you look good in that swimsuit, Isshiki. Is that what you wanted me to say?"

"That's better! Let's go, senpai! Better not waste these tickets." Isshiki seems to have cheered up instantly from my words, her smile was now wide and beaming, and she pulled me enthusiastically towards the pool. You don't have to get that happy just because you were complimented… your self confidence isn't that low, is it Isshiki? "But next time, I'd be happier if you'd do that without me having to tell you to."

"Please don't use me as a self confidence boosting machine."

"That's not what I meant, senpai. I care about your opinion, you know." Arriving at the poolside, Isshiki turns her head around and addresses me. There's a seriousness and maturity in her words that's rarely seen from Isshiki. Now I feel a bit bad for dismissing it as another one of her schemes.

"Um… sorry. I've misunderstood your intentions again. Seems like I do that a lot nowadays. I'll work on thinking more about what you say, but that wasn't a lie, you know." What was Isshiki thinking right now? I was hard pressed to understand this girl. Recently, however, it feels like we've gotten to know each other better than before. What, then, was the cause of these misunderstandings? Maybe…it's because of the change in how we see each other, because we're closer now?

"You really do look good with that swimsuit."

"I see." Isshiki replied simply as she walked towards the edge of the pool. "As long as you understand, senpai." And with that, she jumped into the water, leaving behind only the mental image of her ever so slight grin.

* * *

"You can actually swim pretty well, surprisingly." Really, I'm surprised. The last time we played ping pong it wasn't even close, and being the soccer club manager doesn't automatically make you athletic. Isshiki gave me a glare from across the table, and addressed me with an unsatisfied look.

"That's my line. Besides, you have no right to say that when you're the one who lost."

"Tch." Well, I DID lose. If I had any remaining pride as a guy I would be crushed right now; another benefit of being a loser. Hmm, I should write that down and eventually use it in a book.

"Also, I feel insulted. Are you underestimating my abilities? But well, this parfait makes up for it just a little." Isshiki looked at me with a satisfied look on her face as she scooped yet another spoon of ice cream.

"No, it's just, didn't expect that slender body of yours to be so efficient in the water."

"H-hah!?" Isshiki's face flushed red with embarrassment. "I-I don't recall giving you permission to see me as a women, senpai! Also, where are you looking when you're making a comment like that? That's disgusting." Isshiki quickly covered her chest with her arms and shrunk away from me. There's a table separating us, you know? You don't have to be that scared. But I'm realizing after the fact now, but that was a super creepy comment to make. Seriously, there's something interfering with the connections from my mouth to my brain, I didn't think at all before speaking.

"Senpai… could it be you're making a pass at me?..." Still in her withdrawn pose, Isshiki began with the familiar line. Silence hung in the air for several seconds before I realized she wasn't going to continue.

"Um, that's it? Isn't there usually more afterwards?" Oy Irohasu, you're not broken from water damage, are you?

"It's a question this time, please respond."

"Ahh, I see. Well, it's not like I was ever making a pass at you any other time either, so no."

"I see. Please don't make it look like it then, senpai. I almost panicked there."

Aren't you just a little too sensitive…?

* * *

"Thanks for today, senpai." Isshiki turns sideways to shoot me a glance as she speaks. "It was fun." The train rattles slightly as it hits a turn, and Isshiki is suddenly pushed into my shoulder. I can smell the scent of her hair mixed with the scent of chlorine from this distance. Hmm, just a tad too close, if I were to judge.

"Is that so? I'm glad, then." I habitually lean towards my free side, in an attempt to put some distance between us. "By the way, how many points would this get, under your twisted scoring system?"

"Well, first of all I'm deducting twenty points for having to actually blackmail you to get you to come. Seriously, I already said there would be a next time, didn't I?" Isshiki began counting on her fingers, one finger, two fingers, suddenly five fingers folded?! Wait wait wait, that's a little too fast isn't it? Give some thought to my feelings watching my evaluation rapidly decline, please. Actually, how did that correspond to twenty points…?

"Well, if I were counting points for you, you'd already be at zero for blackmail."

"You didn't think I was actually going to do it, did you?" Well, I didn't, but… "Well, It doesn't matter anyways, because even if you were sure I know senpai would never take that 0.001% chance. Seriously, you're too easy."

Damn, what's this? She's already figured out the sure fire way to manipulate me this quickly? I've got to watch out for this woman, seriously.

Isshiki took out her other hand and quickly exhausted the fingers on it as well. Apparently deciding that was not enough, she started again on her other hand. Come on now…

"Then minus thirty points for thinking I was trying to fake acting cute. Forty for thinking I was fishing for compliments after I've already told you I was going to be genuine around you."

"Well, at least I'm left with ten this time… Since you said it was fun, do I get bonus points?"

"I'm not giving you handouts like that a second time, senpai. Having fun on a – er, having fun when you hang out with somebody like this is expected, so you don't get any points."

Hmm. Well, she's actually got a point there. Except, not getting a free handout really bothers someone like me who's used to being given a free pass; I'm a future house husband, you know.

"Well, I'm getting off." I turn around to say goodbye to Isshiki, who has a knowing glint in her eyes for some reason. "Well, see you."

"In the end, I only got ten points just like last time, huh?" I throw out a last sigh as I step out.

"This time it's out of ten, though." Huh? What? Turning around, I find only the closed doors and Isshiki waving from beyond the glass.

What is that girl thinking? As I walk off, hair still wet and blood pressure still high, I ponder why it is that I just can't seem to understand what Isshiki Iroha is thinking.

* * *

Author's note:

Chapter 1 is now complete! I've come to the realization very early that there was nothing I could write that could make the last story I posted about this pairing seem in character, so I'm just going to leave that there as some nice fantasy that's never going to happen and start a new story where they'll hopefully be developed in a better way by the end. Chapter 1 is nice and slice of life-ish. No drama or suffering here (for now). Enjoy it while it lasts.

After finishing writing the entirety of chapter 1, I have to say... I've deteriorated in terms of keeping 8man and Iroha in character... ;_; Also, maybe I've used too many things from the LNs as a crutch to build off of (photos, making a pass at me, point system, etc.). I'd like to eventually have recurring elements of my own creation.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - After all, **Hikigaya Hachiman** is just a Simple Loner

Why do people tend to judge someone by the people around them? The logic seems to be that you would be similar to the company you keep. Something akin to you are what you eat, except with social relationships. Oops, did I just imply that by forming a relationship, you are devouring the other's energy, time, and even individuality? Well, it's not far from the truth so I'll allow it.

But, if you really think about it, there's something wrong with that, isn't there? They say that opposites attract, after all. If that's the case, shouldn't we expect someone to be the opposite of what their friends are like? But that's not quite right either, since from my own experience observing cliques like Hayama's, the ones that gather up and group together are all the same type of idiots.

It's an impossible riddle. One has to conclude that it's meaningless in judging someone by the company they keep. Why then, do we trust that gut instinct so readily, I wonder…?

"Senpai, it's too hard!" Isshiki Iroha whimpered as she slumped forward onto the table, hands outstretched in a "ready to give up" pose. I am, of course, familiar with this exact posture and have utilized it many a time when lacking motivation.

"You were the one that asked for help in the first place, weren't you…?" Isshiki turned her head upward to look at me, her arms and body still pressed against the table across from me.

"So, you need to actually HELP me then, right? Don't just sit there glaring at me, creep."

"Well, what specifically are you having trouble with? I can't exactly help you if you don't tell me what you don't understand…" Man, how troublesome. How did I end up here helping Isshiki with her schoolwork anyways? As an older sibling, I've probably become addicted to helping those younger than me in need. Damn, Komachi didn't need me at all this year while studying for her exams, so I must be in withdrawal. Yep, that must be it, definitely.

"Well, this problem here, you see… I keep recalculating the speed here and I can't get it right."

"Wait, first of all, I'm sure you already know this but I have to warn you that science and math are not my strong suits." Seriously, why are you coming to me for help instead of going to Yukinoshita? "And secondly, you calculated the angle there wrong at the beginning, so of course every calculation based on that is wrong too."

"Wow, thank you, senpai!" Suddenly energetic again, Isshiki picked up her pen and hastily redid her calculations. "I didn't believe it, but you really are smarter than you look, senpai."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean…? And of course I can see the mistakes you made, I took the same course after all. If you want actual advice on how to study, though, I'd advise asking someone else. All I did for this was brute force practice it, since I'm not good with things like this; not exactly efficient or particularly effective."

"Hmm…Is that so…?" Wait, she's totally not paying attention to me. Oh well.

I wish I brought my light novel to read… I can't just keep staring at Isshiki's silky hair wave back and forth when she's not talking. She's right, that IS kind of creepy. Well then, let's enter observation mode and see what idle conversation the library has to offer, shall we?

The topics of discussion for today seem to be all the usual, did you try that new cafe by the station, where did you buy those clothes, can you sub in for next week's baseball match, gee the new yakisoba bread in the school store is tasty. Mental note, try the yakisoba bread. The library's minimum noise policy sure is useful.

When I turn my head back towards Isshiki to check how she's doing, I discover that she's been silently staring at me for some time with her notebook in her hands. Isshiki gives a small surprised "ah" in response to my gaze. She opens her mouth to ask me another question, but the presence of quite conversation on the other side of the book stacks draws both of our attention.

"Hey, did you see the president with that creep again?"

"Yeah, the one that messed up Tobe's confession and drove Sagami to tears, right? Hikigawa something." It's Hikigaya, why does everyone get it wrong? The hushed voices are still loud enough to hear clearly, despite the voices owners being aware of our presence. Probably thought we were too absorbed in studying to hear them…

"You know what else? I heard someone saw them at that waterpark together last week."

"Are they going out or something? That's so gross! Honestly, I never had a good feeling about that Isshiki, and this just proves it."

After a few minutes, the culprits walk out beside us, unaware of our eavesdropping. Being seen together with Isshiki, huh? The thought has crossed my mind before, and I was aware of the consequences. I've ignored the implications for so long; I've been slacking when it comes to facing reality.

Isshiki was never popular to begin with. Although she tried her best to create a likable image for herself, her cute act was too transparent and easily seen through. That in itself already put off a lot of people, but combine that with her natural intelligence and cunning, and she was already a target to be hated enough that she would end up being nominated for student body president as a mean prank. Being actually elected and showing her competence at the joint Christmas event had finally gotten her some hard earned social standing and respect, but if she were hanging around someone like me…well, then that's all down the drain.

In reality, it would probably be worse than before. It wasn't just a matter of not being re-elected, which would look bad on her record, but Isshiki's performance as student council president was keeping negative rumours about her in check. Her classmates were probably waiting for something like this to confirm their negative feelings towards Isshiki. With this, there was a basis for criticism and attack. She'll face ridicule, humiliation, and be cast out by her peers; in other words, Isshiki will be subject to the same treatment that I've experienced many times. And it'll all be my fault. Even though I've always tried to help others, my failures far outnumber my successes. I've walked down the wrong path far more than once. Isshiki winning the election was even an unclear outcome. Isshiki's situation improved, but the service club was hurt in the process. And here I am, about to witness even Isshiki's social life being destroyed by my own hands.

I must not let it happen; I must protect Isshiki's reputation. This one desire now burns deep within my heart. Whether it's a selfish wish to preserve my only recent success or something else entirely, I'm not sure. But the answer has already come to me, the action that I have to take is clear.

"Actually, senpai." Isshiki began tentatively. "I already knew about these rumors. I was planning to bring it up, but looks like that's already been done for me."

"Isshiki…" A sigh escaping from my mouth fills the long silence. "I can't be your senpai anymore."

* * *

"…Excuse me?!" A shocked and indignant Isshiki stood from her chair suddenly after quite a lengthy pause.

"I mean what I said, it's not like you don't understand, right?" I stood up as well to face her. This is going to take a lot of convincing… "You know what'll happen if rumours about us start to spread. You'll be ridiculed, excluded; you'll be an outcast for the rest of your high school life. You'll be in the social dumpster for 3 years. You might think you can deal with it or that you know what it'll be like, but unless you're an experienced loner like me, that kind of thing can break a person." I turn away so as to not look Isshiki in the eye, her pained expression jabs needles into my heart, making it too painful to look at.

"But I like being with you, senpai. You basically taught me all I know. Besides, I've been prepared for this since the beginning; your reputation precedes you after all. I'm prepared for the consequences."

"Really? Then what was that original request about? You didn't want to lose face, did you? It was such an easy problem to resolve unless you were concerned about your own reputation. You care about your pride more than anything, right?"

"That's not…"

"You've worked hard these past few months, Isshiki. Even with your carefree attitude, just keeping the student council running is a lot of work, isn't it? You've probably had to sacrifice a lot these months, especially with that Christmas event. I'm not going to let hanging out with someone worthless like me ruin everything you've worked for. I have the same attitude on working, so I know how hard it was for you to actually pull through." I walk a few steps towards the door, intending to leave, and turn my head towards Isshiki once again to address her one more time. "I already have a plan thought up, but we shouldn't be seen talking anymore than this. I'll mail you tonight with the details."

"I already said you don't have to do this, senpai. I told you I was prepared for this."

"Yeah, you were prepared alright. Since you always knew what hanging out with me was going to lead to, you were probably prepared to cut off our friendship from the very start."

"That's not how it is, senpai!" I pretend not to hear the sobs accompanying Isshiki's voice, and keep my head facing forward as I began walking out.

"Then am I wrong? Were you not just using me when the election happened?"

"T…that may have been what it was at first... ah, senpai!"

"Sorry, Isshiki."

My footsteps echoed from the hallway walls, sounding hollower than ever. Even so, they weren't loud enough to cover up the sound of Isshiki's sobs still ringing in my ear.

* * *

Author's note: Ok chapter 2 done, that was a lot shorter than I was expecting, probably because it was painful for me to linger on the drama, and so I rushed it all also partly due to not knowing what to write (I'm a failure as a writer orz). Next chapter is the resolution, look forward to less suffering and more healing, and lots of sobbing. It's also the part where I demonstrate the fact that I'm not braindead and actually have some understanding of 8man's character. Hooray. Please read that after I write it slowly as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Without a Doubt, this is **Isshiki Iroha's** Determination

Humans are social creatures, so they say. Indeed, throughout mankind's evolution, we've always been pack animals. Living together, hunting together, enduring hard times and celebrating the good times together. So, why then, is it so difficult to foster true understanding between ourselves? The thing I had searched for, the mirage that fades in and out of my vision, that ever elusive genuine thing. Why is it so hard to obtain? People were used to working together, right? We should've been designed to trust in each other and cooperate. But, that's not quite right.

Does cooperation and working together necessarily equal trust and understanding? Opposing political parties often work together, while being at ideological odds. Businesses and corporations often work together to achieve a common goal as well, but none truly trust any other organization. Even during humanity's evolution, when tribes worked together, it wasn't out of trust or anything as fragile as that. It was simply the most efficient strategy. Furthermore, there was competition amongst different tribes for food, and also among the tribe themselves for leadership and power. Can anyone living under those conditions put their full trust in someone? It might even be more accurate to say that humanity has evolved to never trust anyone, that deceit and building facades are in our nature.

That might be why that genuine thing is so hard to find. How many groups of friends truly know each other's' secrets and true selves? How much deceit is behind those masks everyone puts on? Everywhere I look, there's not a hint of trust or anything genuine.

And as for me, I'm not even sure I trust myself.

* * *

It's cold… It should have been spring already by this time, but the cold air outside perfectly reflected the same chilly numbness I feel inside. I lean my back against the tree behind me, and take a deep breath in. A can or five of MAX coffee would be nice right about now…

"Finally found you, senpai." A tired sounding voice came from beside me, and I instinctively turned my head away. Isshiki's out of breath gasps filled the air for a few seconds before she caught her breath and started addressing me again.

"Where did you think you were going, senpai?"

"We should be seen as little as possible from here on out. I was simply trying to avoid unnecessary attention."

"Don't run away, senpai."

"I'm not running away. There's nothing to run away from in the first place." That's right, I had already decided to distance myself from Isshiki for her sake. If things went how I envisioned, I would be public enemy number one for a while longer; I'd hardly call that running away.

"Then turn your head to look at me." Isshiki spat out, disgusted by what I assume to be my attitude. Reluctantly I turn my head and see what I was afraid to see, Isshiki's eyes were red and her eyelids were puffed up. She had been crying. "That's better. Now you're going to tell me exactly what you plan to do, because you ran out of the library without even explaining yourself."

"Hmph, fine. You may not like this plan now, but I'm doing this to prevent any future suffering." Though I meant to make my words decisive, seeing the state Isshiki's in now made it hard to even convince myself. "It's simple, really. All I have to do is try to approach you in public and cause a scene. After that all you have to do is push me away and be disgusted with me, and the plan will be complete. Instantly our previous interactions will be seen as 'that creep tried to make a move on Isshiki' instead of 'Isshiki approached that creep'."

"I see. I refuse to go along with your plan."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to leave me, senpai." Isshiki's stare was unwavering, and I began to feel more and more uneasy under it. If she won't cooperate, I had to resort to more drastic measures.

"Then It'll be harder if you don't cooperate, but I can still do it. Get caught spreading rumours about you on the internet, say something scummy about you in public, anything like that will work even if you're not there to react." This will hurt Isshiki more than my previous plan, but this is still for her sake, right? In order for Isshiki Iroha to have a normal high school life, able to maintain the friends she chooses and not be ostracized, this is the most efficient way. Am I really doing what's best?

"Are you trying to get expelled?! Or maybe you want to go to jail really badly?!" Isshiki's confusion and anger struck me straight on. "I won't let you go through with this."

"Oh yeah? And how will you stop me?"

"I'll stay by your side, senpai. No matter what horrible things you say about me, and no matter what you do to me, I'll still treat you the same, and I'll defend you no matter what anyone else says about you. That should be enough to ruin your plan, right?"

"You're digging your grave, you know?! Why do you care so much about this?!"

"Of course part of it is that I don't want you to leave me, but more than that, I don't want to see you hurt yourself. What about you, senpai? Why do you insist on this plan that'll hurt both me and you? Why do YOU care so much?"

Isshiki threw the question back to me with no hesitation, but, for me too, the answer is obvious, it's always been the same answer. "Because this is the most efficient way, and because I'm the only one who can do it."

"That's bullshit!" Isshiki's voice echoed through the empty schoolyard. I'm blown away by the amount of power behind her yell. "There's another reason for that, senpai."

"What other reason can there be? I'm a monster of logic; I simply follow the most logical path."

"Yes. You describe yourself as a monster of logic, and that's exactly why you do things like this, but it's not what you try to convince yourself, being efficient has nothing to do with it." Isshiki took a step forward towards me, her voice growing more hoarse and desperate. "I haven't experienced it myself before now, but Yukinoshita senpai and Yuigahama senpai told me, this is what you always do. Sacrifice yourself and hurt yourself and pretend like you're alright. They see it as some sort of unnatural compulsion to help others, but I know. That isn't quite right." Isshiki grabs my shirt suddenly with her left hand, and pulls my face down to look at hers with a desperate swing of her arms. "It's to convince yourself, right? To convince yourself that you'll always be hated and that no one cares about you, right? You had decided long ago that Hikigaya Hachiman was someone that everyone hated and someone no one would ever care about, so when evidence to the contrary appears the monster of logic tries desperately to preserve its own set of flawed rules and logic. You took all those cases and solved them via social suicide just so you could convince yourself of your preconceived notions of how people feel about you. It's an excuse! As long as you could continue to be hated, you had a perfect excuse to never try to understand or be understood by anyone. Why won't you try? Why are you so convinced that no one cares about you? Weren't you looking for something genuine!?" Isshiki violently shook the collar of my shirt gripped in her hand. "Weren't you!?"

"Then show me! Prove to me that my logic is flawed! Anyone can talk like they understand or care, but out of all those times I became a martyr, no one has stopped me even once! And as I had already known, each time afterwards I was hated unanimously. I've walked the path of a loner for 5 years because no one has cared enough to stop me. Show me just who in this world cares about this pathetic excuse of a person named Hikigaya Hachiman!"

 _Whap!_ Isshiki's palm flew across my face. The stinging pain that her slap left made me even more sensitive to her next words.

"I care about you, senpai! Because I'm in love with you, Hikigaya Hachiman!"

I barely had time to be surprised before Isshiki pulled my face down by the collar again, this time straight into her lips. Isshiki's scent mixed with the slightly salty and bitter aroma of tears filled my nostrils, and Isshiki's warm soft lips drew me into a haze. By the time I was aware of my surroundings again, I was sobbing and embracing a similarly teary Isshiki who was crying into my chest.

Through the gaps in her sobbing, Isshiki delivered her final request. "Stay with me forever, ok, senpai?"

"Yeah. Same request from me, if you're ok with that."

Isshiki gazed up at me, and beamed a smile through her tear stained face. "Of course."

* * *

Author's Note: Phew, drama is DONE. Please let me go back to writing SoL, I'm not a good writer so I can't write proper emotional scenes ;_;. Don't worry the story isn't over, but with this foundation established I can now write diabetes inducing couple moments without it feeling like it came from nowhere (cough cough fanfics that start with the pairing already dating for no reason). Thanks for the support and look forward to the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - No Matter what **They** may Face, Life Continues on

"Do we seriously have to do this…?" I stopped in front of the classroom door that stood in my way, then turned around to face Isshiki. "Isn't this basically digging our own grave?"

"Senpai, your forehead is dripping with sweat." Isshiki threw back a disappointed look. "You of all people should understand, right? We'll be laughed at and despised for a while, but they'll eventually get bored." Isshiki raised a finger in a matter of factly manner, as if to impart her knowledge. "It's simple tactics, you know? If we hit them fast we'll surprise them so much they won't know what to do."

What is this, a blitzkrieg? In reality, all we were doing outside Isshiki's classroom was preparing to unveil our newfound mutual affection to the world. Well, it's not like I don't understand your logic, Isshiki, but understanding and having the desire to go through with it are two completely separate things. "Yeah, but still. I would REALLY rather not. Spare me please, at least let me have time to mentally prepare."

"That's disgusting, senpai. I can practically picture you grovelling on the floor." Well, yes. That's the image I was trying to convey. This way, I can have the same impact as actually grovelling without the humiliation, the best of both worlds. A supremely useful skill, if I do say so myself, although going by Isshiki's piercing glare, it seems she's not having any of it. "It's better than the whole school slowly finding out through rumours, right? If that happened, we'd be fresh topics of ridicule for months."

"Wait, did you just call me disgusting? Why do I get the feeling I was treated better before the confession…?"

"Come on, stop wasting time-" Isshiki grabbed my sleeve and started dragging me with her into the classroom. "Let's get this over with."

In the end, we acted out a warped and distorted version of a happy couple eating lunch together. What kind of irony is this, that we need to act to be seen as a couple even though we're actually dating now? I could feel around 25 stares burning into my back, some with disgust and some with shock, but most of them had some mixture of the two. The worst was yet to come, however. Isshiki was right, due to the shock of seeing us together so casually, there wasn't anyone who directly confronted us about it today. But, eventually the shock will turn into whispers of distress and that will turn into outright harassment. But, sitting here, awkwardly taking bites of the food Isshiki was feeding me with a spoon just makes me want to put that thought out of my mind for now.

We'll take it as it comes, I suppose.

* * *

"So, I've been thinking, senpai." The girl sitting opposite of me stirred her coffee with a spoon while resting her cheek in her other hand.

"What is it, Isshiki?" I reply while sipping my own cup of cappuccino. Yikes, still not sweet enough. And I purposefully ordered this instead of regular coffee, too. As expected, MAX coffee is the only one for me. I don't care what you coffee lovers and connoisseurs think of me, loving only a sweet canned variety! This is how my tongue is, damn it! I'll never abandon you, MAX coffee!

Ahem. What was happening before that tangent again? Ah, that's right, Isshiki had something to say to me.

"Don't you think it's weird for us to still be calling each other 'senpai' and 'Isshiki' now that we're, like, a thing?" Isshiki tilted her head to the side, making her navy blouse rustle along with her hair that was resting on top of it.

"That may be, but I'm still not comfortable calling you by first name yet." In fact, I'm not comfortable calling any girl by their first name, since I haven't had any experience with it since elementary school.

"That's just because you haven't gotten used to it, Hachiman." Isshiki enthusiastically urged me to follow along with her. "Come on; just say it a few times and it'll be like second nature to you. I could do it just like that, see?" Wait, I didn't give you permission to call me by my first name. Seriously, this girl doesn't care about what I think at all, sitting there giving me a smug look as if daring me to stop her.

"Th-then- Iroha."

"Yessssss?" Isshi- Iroha beamed a wide smile at me, but no amount of shimmering brilliance from her smile can hide the glint of sadistic pleasure in her eyes from seeing me squirm. Why isn't she receiving any divine punishment for tormenting me like this? I want to have a long talk with whoever's in charge of karmic retribution in this universe.

"Well- that's it. You wanted me to call you by first name, so I simply complied." I responded sheepishly.

"That's it? Hachiman, you're so boring." Iroha shot me a look of disdain from across the table.

"Um, Iroha? What exactly am I to you?"

"What's that question supposed to be? My boyfriend, obviously."

"Is that so? I'm not really feeling like one."

"I'm not going to stop teasing you just because we're in a relationship now, you know? The fact that I can mess with you is part of what I like about you, you know?" Iroha took a drink from her cup as she spoke, savouring the taste before opening her mouth again. "Coffee tastes the best when it's a mix of bitter and sweet, you know?"

* * *

"I'm back." I state absentmindedly while fiddling with my shoes, stumbling and almost falling over in an attempt to store them in the entrance of my abode. "Ah, you can come in, you know. No need to be reserved."

"T…then, sorry for the intrusion." Isshiki Iroha crossed into the entrance hesitantly.

"What's up? You're usually not this nervous anything." I turn my head awkwardly to look Iroha in the eye as I speak. Her eyes dart left and right, seemingly searching for some unfavourable phenomenon.

"Well, you said your sister was here, right, I'm not sur-"

"Oniichan, welcome back!" In the middle of Iroha's sentence, my beloved little sister Komachi popped around the corner, eager to greet the return of the best brother in the world (I have the coffee mug to prove it, too).

"Ah." The two young ladies on either side of me both froze in their tracks, with their mouth agape and eyes staring into each other.

"H-hello." Iroha makes the first move, wearing a fake smile that did not live up to her usual standards of deception and trickery in the slightest in an attempt to maintain a good first impression.

"Oniichan, who is that!?" Komachi's scream reverberated around the Hikigaya household, and after bouncing around the halls for a while, entered my ears and bounced around in my brain some more. Crap, I didn't think her reaction would be this bad. And I didn't even tell her that we're dating yet… On second thought, I really don't want to deal with this. If only there was a way to instantly teleport away from this situation. Unfortunately, that technology just isn't there yet, and I would have to accept the responsibility of awkwardly introducing my girlfriend to my family members.

"Um, you see… let me introduce you two. Iroha, this is my sister Komachi." I take a deep breath before continuing on. "And Komachi, this is Isshiki Iroha. We're in a relationship."

"WHAAAAAT!?"

* * *

Well, if you think about it, this situation would've occurred sooner or later. Even if I told Komachi beforehand that I had a girlfriend, she would just be filled with worry and get the wrong idea about Iroha. In that situation, their meeting might've been even harsher than it was minutes ago. Yes, in a way this was the best solution, you might even say I'm being proactive by getting this out of the way right now. I'm absolutely convinced now that bringing my girlfriend home without telling my family I had one was the right decision.

And so, I find myself seated beside Iroha on the living room sofa, with Komachi directly facing us, legs and arms crossed, and a discontent look on her face. I feel like we're being interrogated.

"And so, how long have you been seeing each other?"

"About two weeks." Iroha responded with a bright grin, laying on the sweetness in her voice thicker than usual.

"And? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"That, well… it just never seemed to be the right time…" I mutter sheepishly while glancing down at the floor beside my feet. Hmm, what a nice pattern the carpet has in this area, and is that a loose strand of hair down there?

"Your sister is kind of scary…" Iroha grabs my arm and leans in to whisper into my ear.

"A-ah. Yeah, kind of…" I respond vaguely, trying not to give anything away to Komachi, who's glaring at us suspiciously from across the table.

"She gives off kind of a clever and vicious vibe, it sends a chill down my spine."

"Well that's ironic."

"What are you whispering about?!" Komachi jumps up from her seat and grabs my other free arm, dragging me off of the sofa, away from the living room and into the kitchen. "Come here, Oniichan, I need to speak to you."

"S-so? What's up?"

"Shouldn't you apologize first?"

"Um, s-sorry." I'm not sure why exactly I'm apologizing, but in order to preserve my life, let's go with it for now.

"Hmph. Well that's a start, I guess. I'm glad you finally found someone willing to put up with you, but I don't know how to feel about it being someone I didn't even know about. She seems sly and untrustworthy. I just can't shake this bad feeling about her." Well isn't that rich, they both think the other is similar to themselves. "Are you sure she's not just using you?"

"Actually, I'm quite certain that I AM being used."

"Guh." Komachi's face turned pale, and a look of disgust immediately took hold of her visage. "You're not THAT desperate, are you? This isn't like you."

"No, that's not I mean. When I say I'm being used, I mean being used as entertainment. Mostly."

Komachi turned her head towards the ground and began stroking her chin, deep in thought. Deciding on some course of action, she turned towards me once again and addressed me.

"Oniichan, you stay here and make some tea. I'm going to test that fox and see what kind of person she REALLY is." With that, Komachi departed in a hurry and seated herself next to Iroha with a serious look on her face.

As I return with three cups of tea in hand, I find myself relegated to the other sofa, as Komachi had claimed my original seat for herself. The two girls were now chatting happily, their earlier tension and animosity seemingly disappearing into thin air.

"What happened? You two look like the best of friends now, even though it looked like you had decades of grudges to settle a minute ago."

"Well, we've kind of come to a mutual understanding." Iroha responded cheerfully.

"What kind of mutual understanding…?" I have a bad feeling about this…

"I asked her two questions." This time Komachi spoke up.

"Two questions?"

"The first one was 'What do you dislike about my Oniichan?' and the second one was 'No really, what do you hate about him?'"

"And so, we came to the mutual conclusion that we hate the same things about you." Iroha explained matter of factly.

"What kind of conclusion is that? What is this abuse? I demand to treated with respect."

"Now now, Oniichan. That's a good thing if you think about it. If we take out what we hate about you, then what's left is what we love about you. So if we hate the same things about you, we have to love the same things about you too."

"No, it feels like there's something wrong with your logic there."

"And so, by the same line of thinking insulting you can be viewed as a compliment, because it's like saying I like everything about you other than what I'm insulting you for, you no good twisted brother of mine."

"No no no, there's definitely something wrong with that logic there!"

"But we're just following the twisted way of thinking you usually use, Hachiman. You rotten, awkward loser." Iroha and Komachi shared a look of triumph, and then had the audacity to high five while beaming smiles at me.

This was a mistake, but not in the way I anticipated it. A grave, grave mistake.

* * *

The chime of a bell heralds our arrival, and a rush of warm air escapes the entranceway into the city outside, bringing with it the comforting and ever so appetizing aroma of cheap ramen. The freshly cooked warm noodles warms cold hearts and the deliciously salty soups serve perfectly to replenish sodium lost to the tears of a long and lonely night. Yes, there is no doubt, ramen has been scientifically proven to be the greatest comfort food for loners, like a clear spring that heals our soul. Why then, I wonder, am I walking in here so casually with my girlfriend in tow?

"Wow, smells good!" Iroha's cheerful proclamation seemed to me to be all too loud.

"Ah, yeah…" I silently apologized to all the pairs of eyes that seemed to be glaring our way as I took a seat at a pair of empty spots. I, I'm not a traitor! I haven't changed my loner ways, I swear! There just happened to be someone that actually accepted me for who I am.

"But I'd never have imagined you of all people recommending me ramen places." I shot a comment in Iroha's direction, who was now sitting down next to me. Her slender, smooth legs now rested on the stool, covered only partially by a pair of tight beige shorts. I want to be that stool.

"Well, the first time I came to a restaurant like this with you, the taste was a little too strong for me, but I got kind of curious about this sort of thing, so I went to a couple by myself afterwards." Iroha gave out a response before placing her order. "Ah, Shio please."

"Shoyu for me, gita gita." Now we just wait for our food to be made.

"Just shio still, huh?" I question Iroha while sipping a glass of water.

"Through my many training sessions, I've come to like the subtle flavour of the salt broth in shio ramen, but I apologize as the enjoyment of the profoundly strong flavour of shoyu and high concentrations of super high calorie count fat are still, perhaps forever, beyond my comprehension."

"Well, I really shouldn't be complaining. For a girl to share my understanding of the wonders of ramen is already a remarkable sight. Women like Shiratsuka sensei are the exception and not the rule after all."

Soon both of our orders arrived and two new faces of bliss were born as we slurped our noodles. Not only was the soup rich and thick, but the texture and flavour of the chashu perfectly blended with the broth. Not bad, Iroha, I'll have to remember this place's name, Santouka, was it? Seriously, forget little sisters, if game consoles included chashu as extras I'm sure you could guarantee even more sales!

"Actually, Hachiman, I have something to talk to you about." Iroha addressed me in between bites of her ramen.

"Sure. What about?"

"Well… I don't know how to say this but don't you have any complaints about how our relationship is?"

"Hah? Not particularly, what are you talking about…?"

"W, what I'm trying to say is—" I turned my head to see Iroha wearing a flustered and worried expression. Did I do something wrong again…? "What I'm trying to say is, I've been pretty harsh lately. I've teased you ever since we've known each other but recently it's been nothing but that and insults coming from me. You don't banter back as much as you did before, I was worried about what you thought of me…" Iroha turned her head to avoid my gaze as I was searching for the right words. Seriously, what's going on in this girl's head?

"Um… thanks for the concern, but I'm fine. I'll regret saying this later, but I actually like how you tease me, you know."

"Don't try to hide it, Hachiman. I kind of went overboard that time I came to your house, Komachi was there and we fed off of each other and got meaner and meaner. You looked kind of down for the rest of that day even though you were supposed to be enjoying spending time with your girlfriend." Iroha averted her gaze again and fidgeted with her hands for a while before continuing. "So, sorry… I've been a bad girlfriend. I'm still going to tease you, but I'm going to do more couple-ish things from now on too."

"That's wrong. You're not a bad girlfriend. You came to me to resolve an issue I didn't even consciously realize existed. Plus it was partially my fault for just letting it happen. You're a great girlfriend. The best, even."

"M— mhm."

Neither of us could look each other in the eye afterwards, and the date ended with just the sound of slurping noodles and two blushing faces. Well, this isn't bad either…

* * *

Author's Note: Obviously not complete, this'll be lots of separate short stories instead of one big connected chapter. There's still a sense of chronology there, though. I'm not writing about the pair's first time telling the service club about their relationship, at least for now. Sorry. I know a lot of you were looking forward to that but that's a whole 'nother can of drama and I really don't feel like writing it right now. Maybe in the future I'll go back and put a chapter in between, but no guarantees.

Update Sept.16: Phew, haven't updated in a while, university means I'll update way less often. Also I'd like to potentially pursue other avenues of writing, no promises. Having Iroha go and learn the arts of ramen on her own is a stretch, but hey what can I say I went to a few ramen places and had the urge to write things about ramen. Also if you don't eat ramen regularly you will have no idea about the terminology used, I recommend wikipedia if you're concerned about that. Also an attempt at soft resetting the relationship was made, since I realize it'll be slightly difficult to progress with normal writing after going slightly too far with my masochist tendencies in the previous update.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Looking Forward, **Hikigaya Hachiman** Can Finally Show a Smile

"My feet hurt. I think I just came down with a cold. I want to go home." I grumbled while being pulled along by the hand, feet dragging in the sand beneath my feet.

"Hachiman, there's a lot of things wrong with you that I'm willing to accept, but if you say those things on route to visiting your girlfriend's house again I'm seriously going to punch you." In front of me dragging me along was, of course, Isshiki Iroha. Today she's wearing a crisp clean white button up shirt with a black bow at the collar and a charcoal coloured skirt.

"No, it's not that I don't enjoy spending time with you, but please give me time to mentally prepare myself before dragging me to your place. Actually, do your parents even know who I am yet?"

"Relax, my parents aren't home today. I'm not so mean that I'd drag you to meet my parents without any warning." Iroha puts on a pouty face, unsure of how to deal with my pathetic display.

"That has it's own set of problems! I can't even be sure whether to be relieved or not."

"Guh-!" Iroha leaps backwards a step, letting go of my hand. Her cheeks show a hint of redness, but she quickly regains her composure. "Were you trying to imply something right now? I'm sorry, but we're too early in our relationship for that sort of thing."

"That's a new variation…I thought we weren't doing that thing anymore. Actually, more importantly, I wasn't going to do anything indecent, I'm only pointing out how awkward this'll be."

"Sigh. It doesn't have to be awkward if you don't want it to be. Besides, it's not like I didn't think of this, I trust you, that's all." Iroha grabs my hand again, as if to affirm her last words. "Come on, we're almost there."

* * *

"Sorry for the intrusion." Seriously, I'm an intrusion, it's not just a figure of speech here. I'd like to think that this phrase had its origins in someone like me, which would make me suited to pioneer new figures of speech. How about 'please ignore my presence' as a replacement for a greeting at social gatherings? I'm sure it'll see lots of use.

"Well, come in. I'll make some tea." Iroha wanders off to her kitchen while I absentmindedly loiter around the living room, eventually settling down on the edge of one of the sofas. Interestingly, her house's layout is almost exactly the same as the Hikigaya residence.

"Alright, let's go." Iroha wanders over carrying two cups of tea.

"Huh?" I'm not sure I follow. Where exactly were we going now?

"Come on, doesn't it feel weird taking up the living room just by ourselves? Let's go to my room."

"…You're doing this on purpose."

"You won't ever take the initiative, Hachiman, so I have to do things like this or we'll never move forward. Besides, it's too much fun to tease you."

* * *

Author's Note:

Obviously not finished. I've been pretty busy with school and also writing my other story, so this one has kind of been left in the dust. I figure a little bit is better than nothing so here you go. Also shameless self advertisement, go read that other story I'm writing. It's a Seitokai no Ichizon fanfic.


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